Skip to main content

THANK YOU

I got into the habit of picking up myself when I have fallen 
you've showed me that I walk in this path alone 
These tears that I've cried trying to get you to understand me 
ended up watering my skin and building the foundation 
to love myself again 
I got into the habit of knowing my worth 
it came from losing myself with you and crying for you to love me 
crying for you to care and take me into consideration 
Telling you, yelling at you to care as much as I do turned the do to a did 
and I started loving myself the way I begged you to love me 
"Don't do what you don't want done to you" 
That's what everyone grows up on knowing
That's what allowed me to grow pure and loving 
To give 110% in anything I run into 
But with you I gave 150% 
It was scary 
But it also got me into the habit of opening myself up to really caring
Even though, I went into this blindly and opened myself up fully
Even though, you hurt me and put your knives through my heart
over and over
even though you harmed my mental and had me feeling like this was my fault
you pushed me away,
 but what you didn't know is that last push turned me around
turn me around to walk out of the path we started and I was so strong on keeping
as I walked down this old path of memory lane going to my new destination I felt this guilt
Guilt that all these memories I was seeing for the last time were my fault this ended
My mind and heart felt heavy the first couple of steps
It leads me to tell myself to turn around
But for some reason, I don't
I keep going
Just as I thought those steps were always going to be heavy, I somehow feel relieved
I feel the thoughts and fear of living without you start to be okay
I understand
As much as I want you and want us
I need me more
Although I'll miss this memory
But that is all this is anymore
MEMORIES
And the light that I thought I saw on our path showed brighter on the ending of this one
Then I realized
Being with you was great, it had its perks
But the light that was shown on our path was just a reflection of what I was walking away from
You were the devils right hand allowing me to believe I was reaching the peace
I should've realized it wasn't true when you blocked what the light was "Showing" on our path
But I forgive you
More because you somehow showed an act of kindness which turned me around to see my true light
ME
I was waiting for me down this path
I was the one I needed to be with
Not you
Me
So thank you
because even though this was a long and hard lesson to learn
The other side of this path feels so great
and I showed me that I could love me so much more than I wanted you and everyone to

Comments

Anonymous said…
you have a beautiful voice, and the fact you are letting it be heard is amazing .
your accomplishments are amazing and are forever gonna be noticed
keep your head held high god is watching you my love
god bless you and your talent . miss you baby
September 6, 2019 at 8:47 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Don't Tell Me

Don’t tell me what they didn’t do Let me figure it out when I see your face when I do something you haven’t experienced  Don’t tell me how they hurt you  Tell me how you’ve never been this happy before  Let’s never backtrack  Because that’s brings fear we don’t need  Tell me you’re scared  But tell me that when we are watching a scary movie Don’t tell me you need me Show me when you call because you couldn’t figure out the remote to the tv Let me hold you When reality sets in & you’re overwhelmed with work & what to buy for Christmas  Be angry with me  For not listening & buying the other dress  Lose trust in me  Only when it comes to leaving your food around me Leave your past in the past  & only allow yourself to think about it when admitting we’ve came a long way & still are going & growing
3 comments
Read more

DEAD

The feeling of being heartbroken got the best of her  She let it all out She cried  She's in pain  She held one hand on her stomach and one on her throat  What hurts more is knowing that she can control what goes on & she can stop it if she wanted to  But not having the strength to stop the pain  It’s like crying over and over again until you don't even have the voice to cry or the tears anymore  Everything ran dry She had a scattered cry  The ones where you stop for several seconds because you forced yourself to daydream away from reality but somehow get snatched back & cry harder because you can’t seem to get away She was alone  In a house full of people she was alone  She got the energy to go to the bathroom She refused to look at herself in the mirror  Even though it was hours that she had been crying  She still refused to believe she was weak enough to let it break her She tu...
2 comments
Read more

What?... You didn't know?

She's dismissive  She's open  She's a pessimist    She's an opportunist  She's giving  She's selfish It's weird how in the beginning it was easy to figure her out  How when it was hot and heavy she was this perfect girl She was the one who was so calm, happy, and supportive At times you notice when she was out of it But addressing it seemed stupid because she snapped right back  How come now she's different? The snap backs took longer to come in effect  The smile that made you fall in love seemed to barely show now What is going on with her? Instead of only getting to know what made her happy you should've wondered what harmed her Yes it is understandable that the past has nothing to do with you and she may have seemed to have it all figured out and show she's fine... but she's human.. What?... You didn't know?... She decided to make it look like she's okay all this ...
Post a Comment
Read more