The feeling of being heartbroken got the best of her
She let it all out
She cried
She's in pain
She held one hand on her stomach and one on her throat
What hurts more is knowing that she can control what goes on & she can stop it if she wanted to
But not having the strength to stop the pain
It’s like crying over and over again until you don't even have the voice to cry or the tears anymore
Everything ran dry
She had a scattered cry
The ones where you stop for several seconds because you forced yourself to daydream away from reality but somehow get snatched back & cry harder because you can’t seem to get away
She was alone
In a house full of people she was alone
She got the energy to go to the bathroom
She refused to look at herself in the mirror
Even though it was hours that she had been crying
She still refused to believe she was weak enough to let it break her
She turned the shower on & let the heat fill the bathroom
To burn the emotions, the pain, the tears
To burn the old her so when she had finished, she was a totally different person
She gathered the strength to take off her clothes
She put one foot into the shower
& made a quick attempt to look at herself in the mirror
Puffy eyed, wrinkled forehead, messy hair, runny nose & pale skin
This was the art of pain
She rushed into the shower & let the water rinse away every ounce of hurt left in her
She sat on the floor
Knees to chest
Head down & eyes staring into another dimension
This place was her new home
She was happy there
That’s when it hit her
In order to be happy, she needs to be there
She got out the shower & wrapped the towel around her body
Hair still soaked with nothing dry but what was wrapped under the shield
She walked into her room
Looked at her bed & hopped in
Put the blankets up to her chin
She stared into the darkness of 3am
She never experienced death but this is what she expected it to be
A soulless person with no strength
She let her eyelids take over
Closed her eyes & slept her way into this dimension
Even when she knew she was going to wake up
She knew it wasn’t going to be her
Because she forced the broken piece to die
She was dead
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