At the end of the day before we fall asleep we always think. There are many thoughts that flow through the mind. How we could've done something to better a situation, why do we act one way when we can definitely be better & loved by more people, why are we alone in everything but surrounded by a lot of people? But see the thing is you are alone in what you deal with. I am not saying no one can be there. There could be so many people who can be there for you & walk with you through any situation you are dealing with. But when it comes to healing your mind & heart or making the decisions needed, you stand alone. It is okay to just need you in certain circumstances like a break up or even the more severe situations such as losing yourself. They can distract you or try to help you with the situations, but when it comes to being physically alone your mind spirals. You lose touch of yourself & your soul.
Now there is nothing wrong in being alone. I suggest alone time even if you aren't feeling up to it because of what you're going through. Some may agree & some may disagree. Some may suggest that they need people in order to have a good time & forget what is going on. I hear "I would rather drink & smoke because I don't think about what I am feeling... I need my friends because they make me forget about what I am going through... Without my partner or my friends I am nothing..." But what if you can't get to a bottle or you can't smoke, what if you sober up? What if your friends aren't there at a particular moment when you need them, What if one day you lose your friends & your relationship? What are you left with when you have no one & nothing? Simple answer... you have you!
I know how corny it is to hear that. "I have me...Okay.. so what?" You have to understand. Actually scratch that, You need to understand. You need to need yourself before needing anyone. Regardless if a friend has always been there. You need to need yourself, you need to know yourself, you need to crave & love you before anyone can get the opportunity to. You need to fix you before putting your time in any relationship. Why? Because if that relationship falls, all you will be needing is love to regain that strength, to mend the broken heart & to be become okay again. But if you don't have what you desperately want within yourself you will be stuck in a fog of relationships. You will be seeking the one thing you never knew you could give yourself before asking for it from another. That is love!
For once stop trying to get to know a new person & get to know you. Talk to yourself & ask yourself
"What do I like?
What do I not like?
What scars do I have internally that I can fix up to make myself okay again?
What are my strengths?
What are my weaknesses that in given time I know I can shape into strengths?
What are some insecurities that I have that I can grow from?
What are my goals?
What do I love about myself?
Do I love me?"
If you can answer all of this & give yourself time to know & love yourself, you wouldn't have to search for answers in someone else that you can give yourself. When it all comes down to it, what is lacking appreciation is what we give ourselves.
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